When we were kids me and my younger brother always put ice cubes in our soup to quickly bring the temperature down from boiling to tasty. Now I have the opposite reaction and I frequently have to reheat soup and other hot liquids halfway through enjoying them.
Also, I’m having a moving sale! Use the code MOVING at checkout to get 25% off your total order. Make my life easier by having less stuff to haul away in a truck! Go to the store here!
Would you like something to drink other than water?
Oh, I can’t drink this water, I’m actually water soluble. I’m terrified just looking at it.
Lots of computer issues are caused by “user error”. I wonder how many problems in restaurants are the same. “Waiter! These crab legs are embedded in my chest! I need more napkins for all this blood!”
Also, check out the guest comic I did for Joel over at Hijinks Ensue!
Don’t skimp on the extras! When you come to grate that parmesan cheese onto my dinner at the Olive Garden don’t make eye contact with my expecting a quick resolution. Concentrate on your task. I want that plate covered so that no trace of my meal remains visible. Cheese from edge to edge! Keep turning that handle!
Also, you may have heard that we just had a major election here in the US. I hope those of you that were eligible to vote made it to the polls because my son did not.
One of my favorite ways to freak myself out is to take a drink of something when I expect another. It’s such a weird sensation when my brain expects Sprite but my mouth tastes Root Beer. Sometimes I’ll take a sip of water but my brain is remembering the cup of tea I was drinking the day before and has a moment of amazing confusion.
Okay how about I respect my elders for 3 hours and then I get a hamburger? Maybe I could be more like my brother for half a day and I get a club sandwich? what if I just settle down now and I get some breadsticks? Deal?
“Also, what are you doing wearing that shirt out in public? It’s filthy! Next time I see you here you better be wearing something with a collar. Class it up a bit. Make an effort!”
I went to a restaurant that had a horrible ventilation setup so that the air conditioning was blowing down directly onto my head. This meant that my dinner was freezing cold a few minutes after they brought it out. I could have ordered ice cream and casually eaten it over the course of a few hours.
At restaurants I study the menu and try to anticipate all the questions I will be asked when I place my order.
“Okay, I have to choose a potato and two side dishes from this column and then a soup from this section and a choice of bread.”
It really stresses me out when they ask me and additional question that I wasn’t prepared for.
My son likes to try and get his way by exploiting what he feels are unbreakable laws.
“You said I could have some popcorn later. It’s now later so YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME POPCORN NOW.”
