Posts Tagged ‘squirrel’
“When I was a kid you could just walk outside and see people holding nuts. Now you have to pay for it and hide your nut watching behind closed doors. Travesty.”
It’s weird when I have to sign for a package. I just put an illegible scrawl in the little signature box. It’s more of a weird ritual than any sort of security measure.
I don’t have squirrels in my mouth but I do wear glasses. Then can pose a hazard for me and my wife. Everybody loses when you smash little bits of wire and plastic between two faces.
Is technology going to keep advancing forever? Will parents always be able to tell stories of “back in my day” that are hilarious to their children? I guess barring a zombie apocalypse there will always be something.
Some people brush their teeth after lunch. Some don’t. Some of the non-brushers eat things that are very pungent. And they work in a crowded office. With bad ventilation. In the summer. At least this is how it was presented to me when my coworker handed me the toothbrush.
Today’s Biff will get you.
I sometimes get frustrated with having to choose what I will have for breakfast from a pantry full of food that all seems uninteresting. I wonder what it would be like if there was a flavorless nutritional paste or pill I could eat instead. Would it be satisfying? Would I become bored of not tasting real food? Would I be more productive instead of wasting time on deciding between Frankenberry and Booberry?
Today’s Biff is a little chilly.
Some people are very proud of the things they own.
“Hey have you seen my new tape dispenser yet?”
“No, I have not!”
“Check it out!” (pulls 3 feet of tape out as he wads it up into a ball)
“Hey that’s great!”
“Watch this!” (runs across the room pulling the tape behind him, trips on the rug and falls head first into the opposite wall.)
Today’s Biff smells fresh.