Are you a puppy? Are you just a tiny, tiny puppy? Yes you are! Yes you are! I’m sorry officer… you were saying something about my rights?
Posts Tagged ‘dog’
My dog is very polite when she needs to remind me to feed her. She just sits near me and stares. Then she uses her mind control powers to make me turn my head and
look at her.
There’s a commonly held misconception that dogs evolved from wolves. How ridiculous! 80% of dogs are spontaneously formed from the heat and compression of too many socks in a clothes dryer. The rest are actually 6-8 guinea pigs joined together. This is the inspiration for Voltron.
Sometimes I’ll find a strange giant poop in my yard and wonder what sort of monster left it there. Sasquatch? Yeti? Bigfoot? Really big squirrel?
One of my favorite snacks is peanut butter on celery. Each bite gives you a sweet drink of water to wash down the peanut butter. It’s much better than my previous favorite snack of eating peanut butter off my fingers.
Would it be walking around all by itself? It could go wherever it wanted? What about when I have to pee?
When I was a kid I remember all the snacks we gave my dog were manmade simulations of things dogs would like. Lots of different “meat flavored” bone shaped things. Our current dog gets the actual items. It weirded me out the first time I went to that section of the pet store. It looked like a horror movie butcher set.
I’ve learned to recognize children and pets that are about to explode their lunch. Quickly! Aim them away from all fabric areas! Preferably some sort of containment unit!
Also, FINAL WEEK! I’m having a moving sale! Use the code MOVING at checkout to get 25% off your total order. Make my life easier by having less stuff to haul away in a truck! Go to the store here!
My dog is completely amazed at unexpected food. “Why wasn’t I invited? Is it my breath? gimme some of those minty bones!”
Also, I’m having a moving sale! Use the code MOVING at checkout to get 25% off your total order. Make my life easier by having less stuff to haul away in a truck! Go to the store here!