#692 – Collision
Posted on September 10, 2013 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
I remember my mom telling me “The mommy and daddy kiss and he has a little squirt gun that shoots into her body.” I imagined a green plastic squirt gun in the back of his throat that squirted into her mouth and then went down to her belly where it grew into a baby. My wife tells me this is not entirely accurate.
Also, thank you for your well wishes and patience during my hiatus. Hopefully my schedule will be back to normal now.
Tags: earth, moon, parenting
No, that’s right, green plastic squirt gun in the back of the throat, pump action, like a SuperSoaker. I remember having to watch a documentary about it in 3rd grade science.
Would I be correct in guessing that your text books were published by Bob Jones University Press and/or A Beka Books?
“The seismic forces involved were spectacular!”
It is just a super soaker that doesn’t work too well and takes a lot of pumping action before you can shoot anything with it. Always take aim at your wife.
I never really get why parents just won’t give it to them straight. If you also emphasize the consequences and responsibilities involved, it’s not like they’ll suddenly go around raping everyone they see. I can say from experience that my father and mother were very straightforward with me when they gave the talk — no excessive euphemisms outside of what are normally thrown about. Sure they were (probably) nervous, but at least I was given an accurate idea of what goes on behind closed doors.
As far as sex talk lies go, your parents made a pretty disturbing lie. The implications are horrible. I mean, they had almost a decade to think of what they would say and they only came up with that?
I was four! Where did I say I was 10? This wasn’t “THE TALK” this was a spontaneous reaction to a random question.
Thus, “a chip off the old block!”