I used to save all of my fortunes in my wallet. I didn’t really use them for anything. I didn’t use them as reference material at any point in the future. It just seemed rude to immediately throw them out. Maybe you had to wait for it to come true before tossing them into a cleansing fire.
Today’s Biff has a bit of a chill.
“An alien of some sort will reveal itself to you soon.” That was the most memorable one I’ve had. Yet working at a typical university, a significant percentage of students and faculty are technically aliens. I guess someone saying “I’m from India” is a revelation of some kind.
It’s kinda difficult to work “in bed”, “in your mouth”, or “in your pants” into those fortunes.
“Someone close to you is about to die…in your pants.”
That wasn’t hard at all.
I actually once got a fortune that said “Everything is dirtier in bed.”
Odd, mine said: “Today is your lucky day: poison in other cookie.”
Others I’ve actually seen: “Beware of strangers bearing used soda straws.” and “One day, in the future, one of your relatives will nevigate a space shuttle.” (Yes, it did have that typo.)
I’ve actually gotten one that says ‘You are not illiterate’. my brother got one that said ‘You should bathe more.” i nearly fell off my chair laughing.
I sometimes eat the fortune. Saves a trip to the wastebasket.