I wonder when the planet is destroyed and the remains of humanity are drifting aimlessly through the galaxy in centuries old spacecraft if parents will constantly threaten their children with the airlock. “You finish all of that protein paste or so help me I’ll throw you right out of the airlock.” “Really? If Jimmy told you to jump out of the airlock would you?” “Everyone stop arguing right now or I’ll shoot this whole family out of the airlock including the robot dog!”
Posts Tagged ‘parenting’
Police dad is also against speed reading, running with scissors and fast forwarding movies. Don’t even think about putting him on your speed dial. You can press all those numbers in sequence like upstanding citizen should. Microwave popcorn? Out of the question.
It’s really cool how there are lots of little games and traditions that get passed down through the generations of children. Now that I’m an adult I wonder how wide spread the ones I did were and how far back into history they go. I suppose the concept of lava goes back to the beginning of the planet so this game probably dates back to the invention of children standing on inappropriate things.
When we had our son I found it endlessly entertaining when I noticed that the question “How old is he?” was almost always followed up with a prediction of my son’s skills and abilities. I decided that whatever prediction they made I would just multiply by rediculous.
“Oh he must be walking now.”
“Walking? He got his driving permit last week.”
“Oh he must be talking all the time now.”
“He doesn’t really have time for conversation while he’s working on his third novel.”
When we had our son and first used a baby monitor it would always wind up scaring me. I would turn it up really loud because I couldn’t hear anything. Then after 45 minutes of silence… “WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” I would jump up from whatever I was doing and run into the baby’s room to find him back to sleep. So I would quietly go back to sit down and listen to my heart beat.
At least this is what it feels like when I get a fever. I guess it could be handy if it really worked that way. It would be a nice trick when you are camping. Just cook your breakfast on your face while you are still in bed and then sit up and let it slide into your mouth.
I remember being confused as a kid about “canning”. We purchased food from the grocery store, sometimes it came in a can, sometimes it came in a jar. But for some reason when you picked stuff from your garden and sealed it up in a jar it was called canning. But then when we would do it with cucumbers it was now called “pickling”. Make up your minds you crazy adults.
I have a strong memory from my childhood from when the first Superman film came out. There was a magazine or TV guide with a photo of Superman and the name Christopher Reeve. I remember feeling extra special that someone with the same name as me was Superman. I guess in a few years kids named Henry will get to feel the same way.
I wonder how quickly robots will conquer the child care industry after mastering all the cleaning tasks we throw at them. There certainly is a lot of cleaning related to children. Maybe it’s more likely that we’ll start them out taking care of our pets. Although if they spend enough time with them it would be more like the pet belonged to the robot. “Hey nice schnauzer your robot has.” I’m sure that wouldn’t happen with the children though.