It’s not that people are bad at keeping secrets, sometimes you just don’t know that it was a secret in the first place.
Posts Tagged ‘parenting’
Recently I’ve heard about this solution to children and cake a number of times. One child cuts and the other chooses. Amazingly I never encountered it when I was a kid. Maybe I just always got along with my younger brother. Or maybe neither of us were ever trusted with knives.
It’s hard to explain the concepts of work and money to a small child. If they ask for something you can’t get them it’s best to just say “No.” If you say the reason has something to do with money then they solve that problem right away. “Well, let’s go get some money!”
It’s kind of weird when you have had friends that you don’t remember. When you are 2 or 3 years old a lot of your friends are just kids of your parent’s friends. Then you get older and go to school and never see them again. All that is left are these fuzzy memories and a few mysterious photos of you with some other kid apparently having a great time.
I hated school and stayed home “sick” a lot more often than reality dictated. I had to think it through and pick my days carefully though. My mom noticed how I would suddenly feel better around 3PM and instituted the famous “If you were too sick to go to school then you are too sick to go outside and play with your friends.” Curse you logic!
I wonder when the planet is destroyed and the remains of humanity are drifting aimlessly through the galaxy in centuries old spacecraft if parents will constantly threaten their children with the airlock. “You finish all of that protein paste or so help me I’ll throw you right out of the airlock.” “Really? If Jimmy told you to jump out of the airlock would you?” “Everyone stop arguing right now or I’ll shoot this whole family out of the airlock including the robot dog!”
Police dad is also against speed reading, running with scissors and fast forwarding movies. Don’t even think about putting him on your speed dial. You can press all those numbers in sequence like upstanding citizen should. Microwave popcorn? Out of the question.
It’s really cool how there are lots of little games and traditions that get passed down through the generations of children. Now that I’m an adult I wonder how wide spread the ones I did were and how far back into history they go. I suppose the concept of lava goes back to the beginning of the planet so this game probably dates back to the invention of children standing on inappropriate things.
When we had our son I found it endlessly entertaining when I noticed that the question “How old is he?” was almost always followed up with a prediction of my son’s skills and abilities. I decided that whatever prediction they made I would just multiply by rediculous.
“Oh he must be walking now.”
“Walking? He got his driving permit last week.”
“Oh he must be talking all the time now.”
“He doesn’t really have time for conversation while he’s working on his third novel.”
When we had our son and first used a baby monitor it would always wind up scaring me. I would turn it up really loud because I couldn’t hear anything. Then after 45 minutes of silence… “WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” I would jump up from whatever I was doing and run into the baby’s room to find him back to sleep. So I would quietly go back to sit down and listen to my heart beat.