Working in an office I was fairly successful in avoiding getting sick from other employees. I kept my desk a safe zone and made sure to wash my hands well as the last thing every time I returned to it. This doesn’t work as well when you have little children that will sneeze directly into your open mouth.
I wonder if freezing humans became common if there would be people that would do it as a sort of crude one way time travel. I guess it would depend on how far you could go. Although it might be a really boring. Wake up in the future and then spend all day reading wikipedia learning about all the things that happened while you were sleeping.
Some people brush their teeth after lunch. Some don’t. Some of the non-brushers eat things that are very pungent. And they work in a crowded office. With bad ventilation. In the summer. At least this is how it was presented to me when my coworker handed me the toothbrush.
Today’s Biff will get you.
Most of my lunch surprises were the result of my own mistakes. Like a lunch that consisted of a meat in a sauce to be served over rice… and I leave the rice at home. It’s hard to scrounge up an extra bowl of rice in the buildings I’ve worked in. If I needed ketchup packets or a plastic spoon I would have been all set.
Today’s Biff is under da sea.
Sometimes I want to become invisible just so I can browse around some stores. I don’t actually want to purchase anything. I don’t have any questions. I just want to look at stuff. It used to be that I would give a polite “No, thank you.” to the first person that asked me if I needed help and then I was left alone. These days I think they assume I’m a shoplifter as wave after wave of people come at me to offer “help”.
Today’s Biff sticks around.
I don’t eat much. This always made it weird to go out for lunch with a group of coworkers. “Hey lets order 10 different appetizers!” of which I don’t eat “Let’s get 5 pitchers of Diet Coke!” of which I don’t drink “We need to split this 2 foot tall chocolate cake!” of wich I eat a bit of frosting. Somehow though I’m expected to pay an equal share of the full bill. Luckily I put some memory altering powder in the Diet Coke so nobody remembers where the rest of that cake went.
Today’s Biff learns the moves.
Really it’s better to just bring your own lunch from home. You have to make sure the gags and restraints are tight though. No sense disturbing your coworkers with all that screaming and flailing around.
Today’s Biff isn’t playing with a full deck.
I remember eating frozen burritos a lot in college. They were super cheap and I actually liked them. Did they change the burrito freezing technology in the past ten years? It seems like I can never get them to cook properly anymore. There will always be a cold spot and a dried out overcooked spot. I can’t figure it out.
I remember being pretty young when I first heard about a kid with a peanut allergy. He wasn’t a kid anyone had met but we all heard some version of the story. The one I knew was that one day on the school bus a kid ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Tiny particles of the peanut butter floated through the air to the back of the bus where the kid was sitting by himself. Nobody noticed anything was wrong until the bus got to school and the kid never got out. The bus driver thought he fell asleep but when he tried to wake him the horrible truth was discovered. This story was of course told while riding in the very same bus where the kid died… and I was sitting in his exact seat!
A few times a year I would forget to bring my lunch to work. It was always on a day that I had some sort of extra yummy left overs. I would sit at my desk, counting down the minutes and finally at break time I would rush to the lunchroom and open the refrigerator. At first I would be in denial and think that someone must have moved my lunch cooler. Eventually it would dawn on me that I never even brought it and I would make my sad trek to the McDonalds and eat something I would later regret.
