#354 – Palpitations

There’s a spot on the back of my house that a woodpecker occasionally likes to hammer away at. As soon as I walk back there it flies away but it likes to do it when I’m on the second floor at the front of the house. I gotta put pants on, go downstairs, put shoes on go outside and walk around back. I guess eventually I’m going to need to replace those wood trim boards with some sort of plastic/vinyl thing.

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9 thoughts on “#354 – Palpitations”

  1. Fretzy says:

    I think the scary part of all of that, is that the woodpecker has a sixth sense as to when you have your pants off.

  2. Pyro says:

    sounds like what you need to do is McGuyver a device involving an airhorn, 3 paperclips and a ball of twine.

  3. Vik-Thor Rose says:

    plastic/vinyl won’t nessecarily stop him. There was a woodpecker at my childhood house that would go at it on the aluminum gutters right outside my window.

  4. There are insects says:

    in those boards – that’s why he hammers.. If you just cover the boards the insects are still there, so he’ll still try to get at them.

    1. Chris says:

      I know, I said replace, not cover.

  5. kingklash says:

    All you need are some outdoor speakers, a remote switch, and a recording of Buddy Rich, Keith Moon, Sheila E, and Ginger Baker drum solos. Or a flying cat.

  6. jammit says:

    This is going to be the grossest thing I’ve probably said. Pee into a bucket and “Paint” the area with pee. Don’t wash it off, let the stink ferment in the hot sun. Re-apply occasionally to prevent the stink from evaporating. After a few months, stop applying and let the aroma dissipate.
    I take it back. I’ve said much worse.

    1. kingklash says:

      But, what do you do about woodpeckers?

      1. pbarnrob says:

        Yeah! That’ll keep the wolves away, tho (see Never Cry Wolf)

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