#263 – Taped
Posted on December 7, 2011 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
There was a time when I used to keep all my receipts in my wallet. It was a handy reference when a problem would come up. Every 4 or 5 months I would empty it out and start again. Now I have more paper handed to me when I make a single purchase than my wallet can handle. It must be frustrating for the cashiers that now have to change the receipt tape every 90 minutes.
Today’s Biff is ready for launch.
Clearly, the paper mills are in league with the cash register manufacturers. I can actually hear the screams of whole forests dying when the register starts spitting out my receipt.
Our local grocer started printing the receipt on both sides. It would wait for the purchase to complete and print the whole thing at once. After two months of manageable receipt sizes, they went back to the full-length one-sided receipt. I don’t understand what went wrong. They were able to scroll through the list of items on the purchase before completing it. That would have been the only sensible thing that I could see stopping them. They already have (or had?) the receipt printers for it. Why? God, why?!
I wonder what marketing executive or operations manager decided that was a good decision. That’s of course, if they even noticed.
Sometimes there’s so much paper in my wallet I can’t find the money. Then I go home clean out all the old receipts without looking at the dates and the following week need one of the ones I got rid of.
If I don’t put them in my wallet the receipts end up in a pile on the dining room table until I need one and then must sift through the mountain.
Either way I’m stuck with a tree size stash of small pieces of paper I’m forced with keeping on the outside chance I may one day need one of them.
One of the gimmicks is to give you coupons that seem to be triggered based on what you purchase – IE, they’re for a related item. For example, one time I went in and bought five quarts of motor oil and a package of antacid, and the register printed me a receipt for $0.50 off a pizza at the food court.
Next time, don’t drink so much motor oil. 😉
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
And what about those notices at the bottom of some that say something like “$1000 FOR YOU!” and when you look, you need to go to the store’s website, fill out a costomer response form, and then you only have a 1/really huge number chance of winning a thousand-dollar gift card for the dollar store you were just at.
My receipts are like that. Drives me crazy.