#599 – Crashing
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
Sometimes you need to go to an outside source for a morning boost. I was once so desperate for caffeine I resorted to the weird coffee vending machine that nobody used in the break room. Even after maxing out the flavoring and sugar options it was an intolerable mess. That was the last time I went to work unprepared.
Tags: alien, coffee, spaceship
I have the opposite problem: I work in a 5 star restaurant, and this is where I started drinking tea. Since I started with the premium loose leaf stuff, I find the normal tea that you’d buy at the store pretty gross.
This means that for one tea a day, instead of spending $5 on a box of tea bags that would last a couple months, I wind up in one of those pretentious tea stores doling out $20 for the month’s supply of creamed earl grey.
I’m currently employing the perfect solution to the caffeine-craving problem: I’ve never had a regular coffee intake and intend on not having it for a long time. Also, I’ve recently managed to cut sodas from diet.
You guys should try it. I recommend starting during vacations, so it won’t disturb your work efficiency.
The coffee machine where I work offers “lightener” instead of milk or half-and-half.
What is “lightener”, you ask? I don’t know, and I’m not going to find out.
Chalk perhaps?
If it’s anything like the “coffee creamer”s that we have in the U.S., it’s probably a cheap soy- or dairy-based cream substitute.
I’m thinking helium.
I wonder if Chris’ machine had “Share And Enjoy” printed on it somewhere?
Flying an intergalactic space saucer while hung over is not advised. That alien needs more than just coffee. That alien needs an intervention.
as barney gumble said after winning a life-time supply of duff beer: “JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEINS!!!!!!!!!”
Canadian musician Devin Townsend made an entire album dedicated to a space alien trying to get the ultimate cup of coffee. It was titled “Ziltoid the Omniscient”.