I went to a restaurant that had a horrible ventilation setup so that the air conditioning was blowing down directly onto my head. This meant that my dinner was freezing cold a few minutes after they brought it out. I could have ordered ice cream and casually eaten it over the course of a few hours.
“Maybe it’s one of those fancy toads that you just lick. Or is that a frog? I’m so hungry.”
I don’t seem to recall having many food dreams. I have plenty of food daydreams. Maybe if I went to bed hungry it would happen more often. I resolve all my food needs so my brain can fight the evil robots in my sleep instead.
Whenever I hear someone say that something tastes like dog food I always wonder if they’ve ever actually tasted dog food. Because I certainly havent! I mean who would ever be curious about that? All those tender nuggets of juicy flavor in a bowl of glistening gravy… I mean… wait. I should go make a sandwich or something.
Sometimes I’ll be out with a group of people and wind up at a restaurant I’ve never been to before. The first time I go through the menu nothing really catches my eye. The second time I go through it I start to get worried. “Oh no, I don’t want anything they have here.” I start to scavenge through the appetizers section to see if I can cobble something together. I hear the other people at the table excitedly discussing their choices. With no time left I choose one of the cheapest items available so I can go out and get something else later on my way home.
I think there’s a lot of stuff that I eat that really just tastes like salt or sugar. Waxy, powdery weak sugar. It doesn’t stop me from eating all of it though. Usually at a speed where I’ve eaten it faster than my body can tell me to stop. “Ugh, why do I feel like I’m going to burst? Oh yeah… probably shouldn’t have opened that second bag.”
