#532 – Fielded
Posted on December 19, 2012 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
Spider-Man was one of my favorite comics as a kid. But I grew up in the suburbs. I would walk around my neighborhood imagining I was Spider-Man but it was kinda boring. “Well I guess I could climb up that telephone pole… and then… climb back down and run over to that tree. I could go check out those squirrels. That would be… interesting.”
Tags: limp noodle, spider-man, web
Ha! Oh so true! Or worse, Spider-Man would be pretty ineffectual in the country. While I could run through the thick forests, which I’d been navigating from the age of three, Spidey wouldn’t be able to do much Tarzaning through the forests of Maine, and I would hide and escape his justice! Or hide and hit him with a fallen branch. That web swinging city slicker! =D
Spidey would have a chance to do some Spider-Jumping, but that’s not as stylish as swinging from a webline.
With great power comes great responsibility… specifically, the responsibility of a hero to be as stylish as he can. Uncle Ben forgot to say that last part and died before he could ever tell Peter. But Peter knew. Somehow, he always knew.
There was a story on the beggining of the nineties where Spider-Man goes to the suburbs and nothing goes his way: he can’t swing from anywhere, everyone can see him coming, he is detained and forced to pay the subway, the guys from the trash truck make him get down when he hitchs a ride… wish I remembered in what issue it was it (I’m sure I still have it here somewhere, and even thought is in portuguese since I’m on Brazil I could probably discover the original information). You would probably get a kick form it.
Found it it was on Amazing Spider-Man #267: http://www.supermegamonkey.net/chronocomic/entries/amazing_spider-man_267.shtml
Hahaha! Awesome!
Actually, Spidey does have a trick for traveling quickly across flat open spaces. He jumps, shoots a web at the ground in the direction he wants to go, gives it a quick yank with both arms, and that launches him forward through the air.
Too bad he can’t just “balloon” with a webline like baby spiders can do. Just too heavy.
There are spiders that spin parachute threads that carry them for hundreds of kilometers. I don’t recall Spidey doing that in the comics but it saved him BILLIONS of times in my stories. BILLIONS.
This is why batman has a car.
What’s even better about this strip is how they used the *exact* same setup and joke in “Spider-Man: Homecoming” 4 years later!
I laughed and said “Holy shit!” at the theater. 🙂