For some reason at my last job people seemed to always be let go on a Monday. That seemed cruel. Let them go on a Friday and have a long weekend to work it through. Don’t make them get up, shower and trudge in to work for one extra Monday.
Posts Tagged ‘work’
Our dog isn’t allowed in the kitchen. She knows this well but occasionally the smell of something like bacon will drive her over the edge and she will break it. A quick little “hey” causes her to slink away with her tail between her legs. My favorite part, however, is when I’ll be walking towards the kitchen from another part of the house and suddenly she will go scurrying past me with her tail tucked. Punishing herself for a crime I never witnessed.
Back a few jobs ago I woke up and realized I was going to be late for work. I was one of the rare people at the office that knew how to access the company’s email through the web interface so I logged in to make sure there wasn’t anything critical to deal with. I replied to a few things, sent my boss an email saying I would be late and then drove in. When I got there it turned out my boss had the day off. I used the recall feature to unsend my “I’m late” email and because I replied to some other things before I left people actually thought I started work early that day.
Today’s Biff remembers summer.
At most office jobs I became the printer troubleshooter guy. To most people this was an amazing magical skill. All I ever did though was open the panels and follow the instructions printed inside. I’m one of those magical “readers” you may have heard about.
Today’s Biff will be here all night.
When I was a kid I remember beer being this mysterious liquid that was forever being carried around over my head but always out of reach. “Oh no, that’s not for you! The juice boxes are in the other cooler.” Finally one day someone left a bottle of beer alone in a room with nobody else but me. I took my chance and got a mouthful of the most horrible flavor I had ever encountered.
Today’s Biff squints.
There was something magical about the popcorn at my childhood movie theater. I watched them scoop it out of the big popping machine moments after it was popped. Did they use real butter? It sure seemed that way. I remember there was no better popcorn than what was served there. Now it’s so much easier to make better popcorn at home than what I get at my local megaplex. I wonder if I could time travel back there if the popcorn would live up to my memories.
Today’s Biff is missing something.
Really it’s better to just bring your own lunch from home. You have to make sure the gags and restraints are tight though. No sense disturbing your coworkers with all that screaming and flailing around.
Today’s Biff isn’t playing with a full deck.
When I was a kid my neighbor worked in a room with lots of expensive computer equipment. They were apparently valuable enough that they has a halon fire suppression system in his office. So if a fire started he had to get out of the room quickly or get to one of the gas masks before being consumed by clouds of gas.
I’ve had a few jobs where I was a “manager” for a group of coworkers. Thinking back on it I’m sort of surprised that I didn’t mess with them more. I never held back on my managers though. I still feel bad from time to time… not too bad though.
One of the more frustrating things I run into when looking for work is people only wanting someone that has already done the exact job they are hiring for.
“Designer needed. Must know Photoshop and have general office computer skills. Looking for a self starter with a clean sense of design. Must have a minimum of 8 years experience designing for an art director with the first name of ‘Alfred’ while sitting at a northwest facing desk on the second floor of a 5 story office building with an average ambient temperature of 73 degrees fahrenheit.”
Of course 1 week after you are hired, Alfred retires and your department is moved to the fourth floor anyway.