#348 – Centerfold
Posted on April 4, 2012 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
Thinking back there are many times I could have died as a child. Falling out of that tree, hit by a train, burned up in that prairie fire. The kinds of things you don’t tell your parents about until you’ve made it to adulthood and can laugh about it. I wonder if my children will have the same stories or if they will be more of the “And then I was through the White House firewall” kind of stories.
Tags: bears, kids, zoo
I have absolutely no stories to tell.
What an incredibly sad life I’ve led.
“….And, there was that time we played that joke on Old Man Sedgwick. Long story short, that’s why Nova Scotia is now a colony for the Toaster Weasels from Rigel.”
My father swore me to secrecy.
I accidentally told the story when I was about 16 and my mom went ballistic on my dad.
Needless to say it was a great story.
I’ve nearly drowned a few times. Almost bitten by a baby rattlesnake when I was very small, which would’ve meant death (baby rattlesnake venom is even more dangerous then an adults and I was like a year old, if that). I lived in Texas then BTW.
Thankfully Mom was able to snatch me out of harms way in time then sent a king snake under the house. Never had a rattlesnake problem after that.
Let’s see, I could’ve been trampled by a bunch of near wild horses. And no, I’m not joking. I was crossing the arena and I didn’t know they were bringing them in. People on the sidelines distracted them long enough for me to get out. I never went near there again. XD
I was once with some friends walking along some train tracks and came upon a bridge. I started envisioning the movie Stand By Me but somehow we convinced ourselves the tracks probably weren’t even in use, since this was in an urban area and there were plenty of abandoned tracks around town.
Wouldn’t you know it, half-way across the bridge we start to hear a train up ahead. It was about a 50 ft drop to the water below and that didn’t seem like a good idea; but we were also in the middle of maybe a 1000 ft bridge. I thank the engineers who made the bridge for putting some type of decking underneath the tracks (probably for workers or stupid pedestrians).
More than 10 years later and every time I hear a train horn/whistle I still cringe. Even if it’s just coming from a movie.
One of the few kids in the neighborhood that EVERYBODY knew on sight. I couldn’t do a thing without someone seeing it and it getting back to an uncle who then tell my grandmother who would then call my mother. So I never did anything but dream of doing interesting stuff.
Hell, my father once gave me a fork and knife as a baby and my mother freaked out, thinking I was going to put an eye out. Luckily I maneuvered the fork and knife like a pro. I was always watched very carefully because I was on the short side.
I remember being in the middle of a psych appointment a year or so back and my mother freaked out when the police came. She worried I was unstable, but luckily it was someone else who emotionally blew up in the office.
My mother compares herself to a grizzly bear mother. Very protective of her children.