Still waiting for the portable force field version. That would be good for bird droppings and vengeful squirrels. Especially around acorn season.
Archive for September, 2013
I don’t think I would be able to handle super powers. I think the fact that I couldn’t save everyone would really bug me. “How am I supposed to get a chance to eat lunch when planes keep falling out of the sky!”
Years ago I went and bought my first suit. I was attending a wedding and really had nothing appropriate to wear. It was a strange experience basically picking out the style and color and then everything else was custom sized to me. They should make a sandwich shop like that.
“Hmm… you are wearing sandals. That may be a problem when we are wading through the swampy parts. What blood type are you?”
“Hey man, I’m gonna have to call you back. It will probably be awhile. Yeah, like the egg incident. Good times. Good times.”
I sometimes freak out when someone comes to my door and I’m not expecting anyone. Who could it be? Human? Werewolf? Doorbell inspector??
“…and over here is our family room. Hey, you can’t go in there. You are not part of our family! …yet.”
I remember my mom telling me “The mommy and daddy kiss and he has a little squirt gun that shoots into her body.” I imagined a green plastic squirt gun in the back of his throat that squirted into her mouth and then went down to her belly where it grew into a baby. My wife tells me this is not entirely accurate.
Also, thank you for your well wishes and patience during my hiatus. Hopefully my schedule will be back to normal now.